Conditioner for Shampoo

I'd have to say this is the point when I feel helpless and extremely annoyed. Till now, I have told myself that stuff happens and its part of the deal, but today I'm plain annoyed.

It may sound like a petty issue, but an experience like that makes me think, wonder and question a lot of stuff. So I bought shampoo once, in the hope of some good care for my hair, it turned out that I had bought conditioner. Fair enough, my mistake, I didnt do my homework of word searching and associations. Next time I'll be more careful.

So I went to buy toiletries again earlier last week. Confident that I'll pick up the correct one this time, I headed to the shelf, picked up after some grave study, a nice, 'intensive care' shampoo. Great. Lets pamper the hair soon, I thought.

This morning, I wanted to apply it, only to find it was conditioner. My hair is now a wet mix of conditioner and oil, and its very very ugly. Its giving me a headache. Argh!  I cant even think anymore, Im so annoyed. Im not whining, I'm just expressing my concern for such bad experiences that happen 'once in a while' in a foreign land. This helpless feeling is one of the worst things that could happen. The worst.

Lonliness

Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I am where I am. Its great. But , there comes a time, when you feel low and lonely and its one of the worst feelings. I was warned by many that it would happen, I always thought that I would be prepared for it, but I guess you know only when it hits you.

I miss home, family, comforts and small smalle everyday things. But its all part of the deal, I tell myself.

Im hoping its a phase that will pass soon and it shall be fine soon.

Inclusion

At the Global Sustainability Jam, I was part of a Creativity Jam at Hamburg, North Germany. Initially I was skeptical to attend it, due to the fact that it would mainly be in German. But I was told that things would be translated as and when required, and shouldn't pose as a problem. I decided not to skip the opportunity and be part of something so global.

It turned out to be a lot more than I expected. Initially, things were translated exclusively for me, and the instructions I followed without much problem. It worked for me, somehow. But the team I was part of, made the effort and very wonderfully so, of talking only in English, to me and to each other. It was overwhelming, to say the least. The thing that changed and turned everything around was one presentation. The speakers asked what everyone preferred and the first answer was German. But there was someone, who strongly said that it should be done in English, not because he didnt speak German, but because he thought it would be correct to do so. I wanted to clap and scream bravado, but controlled myself. The only word that could define the moment was gratefulness and some sort of 'support'.

The next day, while the instructions were being given, there was a two language approach that was taken, once in English and once in German. To which someone from the participants, again, asked and I quote "Why don't we do a check of many of us actually need German, because we dont follow English" and not one hand went up. Oh, it was beautiful, I wanted to cry, I think. I was blown out of my mind, because it wasn't me who asked for it, wanted it, but one among the group itself. 

From that moment on, there was English and yes, spurts of German, but everyone was comfortable with how it worked.

I dont know how to put it in words, but its a feeling that I felt for the first time in Germany, of inclusion. Something I was yearning for. And it took me one month, away from the 'town I live in', away from aquaintainces and among a bunch of people I met over a weekend.

Inclusion, is a wonderful thing. 

All in A Day's Work

Routine is beautiful. Im a fan. It helps me live better and breathe better too. Usually, that is.

But since the time we got here, i havent been able to set one for myself. it is something i wasnt able to control myself. For in a new land, things will be different and take time to get used. Fair enough. one month passed. Full of fun, frolic and all that jazz.

Honestly Im not a fan. The too much fun makes me guilty and feels like a waste of time. So finally, when routine came into existence, i was probably beaming with joy. Its still not the same everyday, things move around, can be unpredictable, but it is something.

Morning are spent either waking up with a start, or lazily. With a start most of the times. Followed by 'work' on the computer with a laptop breakfast, or getting ready for a class. we live almost an hour away from the university and it involves the change of a train. So make most of it, i end up either saying my prayers on the ride or trying to read up something. i used to sketch, but it got difficult.
A class in german follows, with an english summary. Through the whole class, my eyes search for a familiar word or a sentence. Doesnt usually work. After that, some discussions happen again, in German. Lunch is at the Mensa, the student cafeteria. It usually is good and filling.  After that there is another class after an hours gap or so, but the break is spent in the library or some sort of purposeful thing.

Heading back home is usually cold. The wind can almost kill sometimes and i would freeze soon. The ride home is spent taking a nap or writing a blog post as a draft msg. Works very well. (this one is an example). Dinner is the only meal close to being home cooked, but most of the times I mess that upto. The whole process is tiring, some chopping vegs, cooking them, eating and then cleaning up. Takes almost an hour.

This is followed by some mindless time on the internet, a chat or a serial to catch up with, and then obviously feeling guilty about it. there are intermittent periods of working as well.  But it is tiring. A book reading session is something I do everynight before I sleep, something I think works best to sleep well.

Inspite of my desperate attempts at trying to maintain a routine, most of the time its not the same. Which is quite scary. Im worried. About my productivity and my courses. I waste time worrying as well. But its all in a days work. Can only hope to cope and manage.

One Language

Its funny when someone says 'oh you are Indian, you speak very good English. How come you talk to each other in English and not in Indian?' Well honestly, I think I ask question to myself almost everyday (especially after coming to a foreign land).

Its strange how we four, converse only in English and almost nothing else. Our cultural and geographical differences dont let us speak in one language. We dont have a common thread and we are all different drastically from each other, not just the way we talk, but also the way we communicate and the way we look at things. Even with our ages being relatively on the same average, we are very very different people, just from the same country. Thats where it ends.

Having said that, its a pity that we dont talk to each other in the same local language and we take the help of whats here called a 'foreign' language'. Back home too it is a foreign language, but is not treated like one. The creeping in of English in our everyday Indian lives has left us dependent on it and in some way struggling for unity. Personally I feel bad for us, its more of a shame than anything else. I dont mean any offence to anyone or anything. Its a personal opinion.

Globally, every country has its own language and thats what I have seen here as well. The Chinese talk to each other in Chinese only, the Japanese in Japanese only, the French, in French only, iItalians in Italian only, so and so forth. Barring the fact that language, first, is a barrier, it is also something that collects people together and helps them identify themselves. Thats usually a good thing.

Somehow, I still feel uncomfortable that geographical differences are our only cause of such a division.

Super Germans

Thats what I call them here. To say that I am impressed with the way people live their lives would be an understatement.

Everything is properly planned, accounted for and dealt with in a beautiful manner. Organised meticulously and thoughtfully, the routine is becomes as beautiful as the work and people. An ordinary day that involves work, play and party perfectly. They are never late, always impeccably turned out and with work done. Its not just a work thing, its a student thing as well. They work, they jog, they shop, they play, they drink beer, they entertain, they take care of kids, all of it.

Everyone has a planner or a diary of sorts, where everything is written, planned and accounted for. Its something that I practised back home,(from a diary to to do lists, et all) and felt strange about it. But here, it feels just as awesome. Only thing, I cant do it as much and as well.

I sometimes wonder how they actually manage everything. It must require some special planning and tools. Or maybe its just a way of living, incorporated beautifully for everyone.

Its something I will always struggle to achieve, perfection in almost everything.

Appreciation & Comparison

While we live in an entirely new environment, culture and system, its obvious that things will not go our way and we may not like everything that is around us. But I think we must appreciate what has been provided to us, however frustrating and annoying it may get.

I say this because, I for myself, lose hope and get annoyed with things if they are not going ok. Its a new experience and all a part of learning. We must appreciate everything and learn from it along the way. If the experience is bad, it would be best to treat it as a learning one. Its not something I do always, but I'm hoping to soon.

Everywhere we go its German. Obviously it will be. German people, German language, German classes, German lessons. Honestly, it is difficult to get used to an entirely new language and system and then hope to cope. But thats the reason why we are here, to learn from everything around us. Appreciation of things around, from classes, faculty, products, people, systems will only help.

A mere comparison between cultures and nations works for a while, but beyond that I think its positively called whining. Isn't it about learning from all spheres and experiences, however hard they maybe and however 'not-so-nice' they maybe in our dictionary. Comparisons work, if one wants to leave it at just that. Acceptance from the new system will also come only when one is ready to learn.

Its a pity how much time we waste on comparing, stereotyping, whining and complaining, when we should be having more of an acceptance and appreciation priority on the agenda. Its that moment when I say 'Get over it'.